Anger Management
When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take it out on someone, don’t take it out on someone you know, take it out on someone you don’t know.
I was sitting at my desk when I remembered a phone call I’d forgotten to make. I found the number and dialed it. A man answered, saying ‘Hello.’
I politely said, ‘This is Chris. Could I please speak with Robyn Carter?’
Suddenly a manic voice yelled out in my ear ‘Get the right f***ing number!’ and the phone was slammed down on me.
I couldn’t believe that anyone could be so rude. When I tracked down Robyn’s correct number to call her, I found that I had accidentally transposed the last two digits
After hanging up with her, I decided to call the ‘wrong’ number again.
When the same guy answered the phone, I yelled ‘You’re an asshole!’ and hung up.
I wrote his number down with the word ‘asshole’ next to it,and put it in my desk drawer.
Every couple of weeks, when I was paying bills or had a really bad day, I’d call him up and yell, ‘You’re an asshole!’
It always cheered me up.
When Caller ID was introduced, I thought my therapeutic ‘asshole’ calling would have to stop. So, I called his number and said, ‘Hi, this is John Smith from the telephone company. I’m calling to see if you’re familiar with our Caller ID Program?’
He yelled ‘NO!’ and slammed down the phone.
I quickly called him back and said, ‘That’s because you’re an asshole!’ and hung up.
One day I was at the store, getting ready to pull into a parking spot. Some guy in a black BMW cut me off and pulled into the spot I had patiently waited for. I hit the horn and yelled that I’d been waiting
for that spot, but the idiot ignored me.
I noticed a ‘For Sale ‘ sign in his back window, so I wrote down his number.
A couple of days later, right after calling the first asshole (I had his number on speed dial,) I thought that I’d better call the BMW asshole, too.
I said, ‘Is this the man with the black BMW for sale?’
He said, ‘Yes, it is.’
I asked, ‘Can you tell me where I can see it?’
He said, ‘Yes, I live at 34 Oaktree Blvd , in Fairfax , and the car’s parked right out in front.’
I asked, ‘What’s your name?’
He said, ‘My name is Don Hansen,’
I asked, ‘When’s a good time to catch you, Don?’
He said, ‘I’m home every evening after five.’
I said, ‘Listen, Don, can I tell you something?’
He said, ‘Yes?’
I said, ‘Don, you’re an asshole!’
Then I hung up, and added his number to my speed dial, too. Now, when I had a problem, I had two assholes to call.
Then I came up with an idea.
I called asshole #1.
He said, ‘Hello.’
I said, ‘You’re an asshole!’ (But I didn’t hang up.)
He asked, ‘Are you still there?’
I said, ‘Yeah,’
He screamed, ‘Stop calling me,’
I said, ‘Make me,’
He asked, ‘Who are you?’
I said, ‘My name is Don Hansen.’
He said, ‘Yeah? Where do you live?’
I said, ‘Asshole, I live at 34 Oaktree Blvd , in Fairfax . I have a black Beamer parked in front.’
He said, ‘I’m coming over right now, Don. And you had better start saying your prayers.’
I said, ‘Yeah, like I’m really scared, asshole,’ and hung up.
Then I called Asshole #2.
He said, ‘Hello?’
I said, ‘Hello, asshole,’
He yelled, ‘If I ever find out who you are…’
I said, ‘You’ll what?’
He exclaimed, ‘I’ll kick your ass,’
I answered, ‘Well, asshole, here’s your chance. I’m coming over right now.’
Then I hung up and immediately called the police, saying that I lived at 34 Oaktree Blvd , in Fairfax , and that I was on my way home to kill my gay lover.
Then I called Channel 9 News about the gang war going down on Oaktree Blvd. in Fairfax
I quickly got into my car and headed over to Fairfax.
I got there just in time to watch two assholes beating the crap out of each other in front of six cop cars, an overhead news helicopter and surrounded by a news crew.
NOW I feel much better.
Anger management really does work.
HEHEHE! Thanks to my Funny Furry for sending me this- it totally cracked me up! Plus we got to have a super kinky K-9 foursome with his new great dane and Erin! Oh gosh let me tell you that was one of the most perverted phone sex calls I’ve ever done! *blush* But it ~was~ an awful lot of fun…
Had another naughty roleplay with the Big Boss, who never fails to expose me for the horny little slut I am. No matter how hard I try to act prim and proper, he knows just how to ruffle my panties errrrr feathers. Hehehe!
Oh how I adore my Tender Lover. When we’re together, we marvel at how perfectly our bodies fit together, like I was made to take him inside me and make him happy! *swoon* He loves it when I urge him to spill all his seed inside me, regardless of whether it knocks me up or not. After all, a good girlfriend knows it’s her duty to fulfill her man!
I had an awesome phone sex orgy with Sydney and Terrible TJ. Who knew it was so dangerous to walk home from the mall? They looked like such a nice couple when they offered me a ride…*wink* Now I’m stuck in the middle of nowhere with no panties on! Hehehe!
It seems like Marvelous Marty and I just can’t get enough of each other. Honestly, he is the perfect phone boyfriend! Whenever we go too long without talking, I know he misses me as much as I miss him, and it’s always even sweeter and sexier when we do get to catch up. And golly that man knows how to make his phone sweetheart a very happy girl!
More phone sex fun…A hot quickie with Diamond Joe left me slippery as hell and wanting even more! I think my Pantyhose Lover might have gotten busted during our call, but I hope he calls back soon for more stockingsex! And the Spanker Wanker is actually a very nice man, once a girl gets used to having a very sore bottom whenever Daddy’s not happy. *giggle* Giant kinky kisses to
Have a great week!
XOXO
Amy
